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sportsfan2006
Joined: 05 Oct 2006
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 The Sports Column |
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By Kevin Reavy
WagerWeb.com Contributing Writer
The Eagles AND Giants lose to the lowly Tennessee Titans in consecutive weeks, and the Dallas Cowboys get five touchdown passes from a guy named Tony Romo?
What is going on in the NFL?
What’s going to happen week-to-week is anyone’s guess. Luckily, we can always count on Tiger Woods (he won), the Arizona Cardinals (they lost), and the Notre Dame Fighting Irish (they suck) to bring a little bit of consistency back to The Sports Column.
On to the headlines:
New York’s Finest, Second-Best
Derek Jeter did not win the American League MVP award -- even though his home run total would have been enough to lead the league in 1918. Forget the fact that he did not lead the league in any category, including hits, doubles, runs scored, RBI, batting average, slugging percentage or OPS en route to a 14-home run, 97-RBI season. Intangibles, baby, intangibles!
(Remind me to use this line the next time I go for a job interview.)
Tiger Wins Seventh Straight Grand Slam
On a related note, Carlos Lee, now of the Houston Astros, finished seven consecutive Grand Slam breakfasts at Denny’s en route to a $100-million contract -- a million bucks for every pound he’ll gain between now and the end of his new six-year deal.
USC Defeats ND... Again
As an Irish fan, a loss like this means one thing -- a long night of heavy drinking.
Then again, had they won, it would have also meant a long night of heavy drinking.
Come to think of it, even when they don’t play...
Starbury Flames Out
Not to knock the $15 shoes or anything (after all, the $22 “Shaqs” from Payless gave me three good years of budget-baller street cred), but Stephon Marbury’s new cheapie shoe line might be costing him a lot more than a few extra dollars.
He’s averaging 10.1 points per game (half his career average) thus far in this early season donning the new kicks. It’s gotta be the shoes, right?
Wrong. He’s Stephon Marbury. He plays for the Knicks. Coached by Isiah Thomas. Playing with 37 other point guards. Who also suck.
On second thought, it’s not not the shoes. It’s everything.
And I love it.
(Sorry, Knicks fans, but your tragedy is our comedy.)
Comments from Around Sports Nation
"[Juan Pierre] is second only to Ichiro Suzuki in total hits (1,182) over the past six seasons. If you don't have a calculator, that's an average of 199 hits a year." -- Peter Schmuck (Yes, Schmuck), Baltimore Sun
-- Or 197 if you DO have a calculator ... --
"[Adam] Kennedy is one of five every day second basemen on the market, along with Mark Loretta, Ray Durham, Ronnie Belliard and Tony Graffanino, who played third base for the Milwaukee Brewers, but has attracted the attention of the Padres as a second baseman." -- Jeff Blair, Toronto Globe
-- So, even though I’m a sports and entertainment writer, I could generally be considered an “every day” political commentator?? --
"You sign a pitcher for seven years, you can bank on many trips to Birmingham, Ala., and the office of Frank Andrews, orthopedic surgeon." -- Wallace Matthews, Newsday
-- Rule of thumb ... if you're trying to be witty and clever, try to get the name right of the most renowned, successful surgeon in all of sports medicine (BTW, Mr. Mathew Wallace, it's JAMES Andrews).
"DEREK LOSES -- Twin Beats Captain for MVP... Jeter has long understood the BBWAA voters being seduced by power numbers, and that's not Jeter's game. So, too, is an anti-New York/Yankees attitude." -- George King, New York Post
-- Anti-Yankee bias, yes ... This just in: SEVEN total Yankees received MVP votes (That's a lot, but if they weren’t so darn biased it might have been eight).
"Jeter plays in New York City. He makes a lot of commercials, and he dates a lot of starlets, and he makes a lot of money, and if you think that doesn't count in the minds of the people who cast these votes, you're a greater believer in the purity of human nature than I am." -- Mike Vaccaro, New York Post
-- Agreed. Again, Anti-Yankee bias. Heck, you have to go all the way back to ... 2005 to find the last Yankee voted MVP. (He also said that Jeter might not end up a first-ballot Hall of Famer ... He writes for the New York Post ... I wouldn't trust him to write the "Two Scoops!" proclamation on a box of Kellogg's Post Raisin Bran)
"If it's any consolation to Derek Jeter, in 1980 "Ordinary People" won the Oscar for Best Picture over "Raging Bull." A quarter-century later, people laugh about that one and someday, they'll laugh about this one, too, the year Ordinary Player, otherwise known as Justin Morneau, was named the American League's MVP for 2006." -- Our buddy Wallace Matthews again
-- Justin Morneau; .321 avg (7th in the league), 34 HR (12th) and 130 RBIs (2nd) ... Mr. Ordinary.
That will do it for this week’s Sports Column.
Until next time, enjoy the news as it happens.
WagerWeb Sports
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| Wed Nov 29, 2006 2:40 pm |
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chip magnet
Straight Flush
Joined: 05 Jan 2006
Posts: 357
Location: Western, New York |
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I kind of like the idea even though i watch espn everyday.... 
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waft52, Dub-ba-ya52, or chip tricky on pokerstars |
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| Thu Nov 30, 2006 4:06 pm |
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